Setahun jadi Surirumah

Dah setahun lebih sikit dah sejak berhenti kerja dan jadi surirumah. Amik masa nak amik mood. Kekadang mood kelaut. Kekadang tu kau sendiri rasa mcm nak terjun laut. Lari. Eh bukan senang nak jaga anak n jadi suri rumah ok.

Letihnya jangan cakap. Bukanla tak suka atau x bersyukur tapi kau dah kerja,  x biasa nak jaga dua anak, rasa membuak nak kerja balik pon ada. Tapi fikir balik kenapa berhenti kerja? Untuk anak jugak kan? Jangan kufur nikmat.

Setahun duduk rumah bukan tak buat apa apa. Business jalan.shopping pon jalan hahahhaa. Nafsu shopping tu biasala num 1. Time down je shopping. Time down je bukak group as is ikea. Aku nak kena leave groupla. Kerja nak menggoda aku perabeh duit je.

Tapi tgkla dari Kalif baby lagi,  staun 9 bulan tu kira baby la lagi bagi aku. Adik balik dari spital,cium adik. Skang dah pandai tarik rambut adik, kang time baik dia dia pom hug adik, dah pandai shampoo rambut adik sampai adik pedih mata. Hahahaha. Dah besar anak mak.

Kekadang nak kawal temper tu punyala payah. Yela budak nak membesar. Aku tutup periuk nasi pon kena marah. Dia nak buat. Aku goreng telur,telur tu kena pass kat dia dulu. Pastu dia pass balik,  cakap "Aceh makkk" pahtu barula aku boleh goreng.Nampak gaya ada bakat jadi QC. Tanda tanda dah ada.

Dia punya merengek kalau mengada tu kemain buat aku menggelegak. Pastu kalau aku mintak maaf sebab marah,mulala buat mengada lg sbb nak soh mak peluk pujuk. Buat sore ngada ngada lagi hahaha

Tu belum Adik.Kerja nak melasak 25 jam. Menangis kalau tak dapat tu biasa. Dah pandai cari gado dengan Abang.Oh dulu aku kecik ko buli ya. Ko tunggu banggggggg kata Sora.

Tapi..Haritu macam preknen. Period selalu on time. Tapi kali ni lambat 10 days. Day 1 buat upt, samar2. Pelik, sbb kalau lmbt,selalu kuat garisan tu. Jelas clear.

Tapi ni samar samar. Ok xpe kita try lagi.

Hormon patotnya berganda kan. So makin jelas kan line. Memula mcm tu. Tp lama lama makin fade.

Sampaila day 10. Bleeding.

Okay. Nak kata frust, frustla jugak. Berapa banyak upt aku abehkan. Mana tak frust hasilnya xd. Hahahaha. Tak,betul rasa ralat. Tapi Ana kata tu sebab genetic defect.

Amik masala nak kua. So mmg pregnant,tapi x jadik. 5 weeks 5 days masa tu. Or might be lagi awal kan. Bukan leh detect heartbeat.

Tapi Tuhan maha kaya. Sendiri rasa belum bersedia nak berlima. Tunggula Sora besar sikit, kalau dah 3 tahun sedap dah. ABANG 5 ADIK 3 MAK PEKNEN DAH KENAPA CAPSLOCK NI.

so belajarla dari kesilapan.Jangan terbabas sokmo kelak tak boleh diundur. Haha.

Sejak gugur tu hormone haywire sgt. Emo serabut semacam. Cptlah bersih,nak solat nak ngaji. Nak puasa. Harap kuatla iman ni tahan lapar n haus.

And no aku x pantang. Sebab mcm kelakar je nak pantang. Pantang ice tu mmg lama dah buat.  Maybe akan p scan kalau bleeding excessively, more than usual periods. Kot x abeh kuo je kan. Bahaya gak. Kang mati syahid sian aizad. Mana leh kasi dia kahwin lain

Okayla. Nak p tgk Grimm.Latest obsession.Sok nak p kubur Mak Tok n Tok Ayah. Lama x balik pilah, x mantai sejak Mak Tok takda.

Mencarut

Harini macam biasa aku ke padang dengan anak anak. Kalif suka bawak basikal dia. Walaupun tak kayuh , sebab aku syak dia malas bawak badan dia tu , tapi dia laju ok gelongsor ngan basikal dia. bukan tak reti kayuh, tapi at 3 dia dah 13.5 kg. Almost 3. 

Dekat playground macam biasala, ada budak2 besar Darjah 5 Darjah 6 laki pempuan lepak main bolala apala. Harini diorang tak main bola. Masa datang, aku tengok diorang tengah main slipar. . Ala apa tu nama dia. Main lari lari baling slipar tu la. Fabret tu dulu. 

Lepas tu aku nampak sorang budak perempuan ni lari jauhhh dari kawan2 laki dia. Sambil mencarut. "BoDOH! Bangang! Sial!". Aku terkejut. Kalau budak laki, aku pahamla. Ganas kan, kasar. Dia dah jauh masa tu. Haritu aku ada post kat facebook, betapa aku terkejut dengar budak laki mencarut. Tapi aku tak buat apa apa, sebab diorang mencarut bukan gaduh, cuma gurau kasar. Aku nyesal jugakla tak tegur masa tu. 

Tapi budak perempuan kot. Dia lari, pusing jauh balik ke playground balik, duduk dekat slide sorang2. Kawan lagi sorang dekat swing. Tiba tiba dia bangun, mencarut lagi dekat budak laki. BODOH!

Thats it. Aku geram, aku bangun dan pergi dekat dia. 

"Dik.." dia buat dek je ngan aku

"Adik..siapa nama?" Aku marah masa ni. Aku jerkah dia. 

"Dalila". 

"Awak ni mencarut2, baby and anak akak dengar tau. Awak darjah berapa?"

"empat"

"Baru darjah 4 dah mencarut2 macam ni. Tak baikla kekecik dah mencarut. Rumah awak kat mana?"

Diam.

"Awak mencarut lagi, akak bagitau mak awak."

Dia tunduk bawah. 

Budak2 laki yang tengah bising tadi semua terdiam.

"Korang pun sama. Kalau mencarut akak bagitau Mak!"

Walaupun skang aku rasa macam bodoh je ayat aku, bagitau Mak, but I meant it ok. Aku akan ikot sekor sekor balik rumah. Bukan jauh pun rumah kau. 

Sorang budak laki ni tunjuk kat kawan kawan dia. 

"hah tu..tu..dan tu..semua kuat mencarut'

Tak lama lepas tu, datang sorang kakak tengah sarat dengan anak dia. Aku baru first time nampak dia, Dia salam terus duduk and borak. Aku pon ceritala betapa geramnya aku dengan budak pempuan tadi. Dia pun cita, husband dia kata budak2 kat sini kuat mencarut. Tak boleh bawak anak anak pergi playground. 

Im sure semua mak bapak situ kalau dengar mesti marah jugak. Risaunyala dengan anak anak kita...ni 2016. By the time diorang dah darjah 4, darjah 5..macam manala plak keadaan dia kat sekolah. 

I dont remember us schoolgirls being like that back then. We were all sweethearts..paling nakal pon balik rehat lambat lima minit.

Cikgu cikgu kat sekolah..budak2 mmg macam ni ke sekarang?

IKEA As IS and Preloved Item

TOLONG. AKU DAH KEMARUK BARANG AS IS IKEA!!

As is tu apa benda? As is tu barang rejected ikea sebab dented, or sebab kotak penyek or sebab ex display. Barang yang kat showroom yang korang telek telek tu, ha tu la dia jual balik. Usually half dari harga asal. 

Kalau almari RM600, jadi RM300. Tak ke berbaloi? Kalau dalam kotak, kurang sikitla diskaunnya sebab dia 

1) dalam kotak. senang nak angkut. xyah nak bukak balik or sumbat dalam keta. oh, Ikea ada sediakan tools kalau nak bukak balik.  

2) kalau kotak kemek takkan nak kasi half kan. Kalau dented pon sikittt je tak ada kesan sangat . 

Dia punya kemaruk ni, aku siap tgk group tu setiap lima minit. Sebab PS PS akan duduk situ kat IKEA dan tunggu barang As IS keluar. Dia bukan macam pasar tani, letak pagi pagi barang. No, dia akan bawak keluar sikit sikit . Selalunya, time petang banyak barang bes. Kalau nasib baik, dapatla tengok PS post barang yang bes bes dan cepat jugak book. SEbab komen number 1 takkan semesti dapat barang tu. Aritu komen first siap wasap. Sekali ada orang dah call dulu ok. Haruslah call lagi cepat kan. Sampai macam tu sekali penangan barang AS IS. 

Aku punya eksited dengan barang As IS ni sampai semua orang aku hasut soh join. Apa salahnya kan kongsi kongsi hehe. Lagipon dalam tu bes boleh jual barang ikea preloved dan jugak barang bukan ikea. Barang BARU IKEA dilarang ya. Strictly AS IS and preloved stuff. 

Contoh macam bawah ni 

:-

Brimnes berkaca dengan door tu sangat menggoda!!! Baru haritu berangan nak beli jugak satu almari berkaca nak display segala cups and glasses yang orang hadiahkan. Ada lagi dalam stor, ada lagi dalam kotak bawah almari. Simpan kumpul habuk je. Eh. Tapi kalau display kena ada yang berkunci,Nanti glasses and cups jadi kaca je. Sobs. 

Haritu dapat cop almari Brimness ni. Lawa ok.Aku sukaaa sangat. Harga RM600 tapi less jadi RM300. Campur upah nak dismantle, anta pergi rumah jadi RM410. Berbaloi kan?? Siapa nak kasi? Tapi sebab takda budget ujung2 bulan, terpaksala babai. Dengan harapan kita ketemu lain kali dalam kotak. Senang sikit nak hangkut haha. 

CANTIK KANNNNNNNNNN? Terbayang bayang Brimnes haritu. Tapi esoknya, terus PS update ada Brimnes lain. Jadi nak carik duit pon seronok. Aku meniaga untuk shopping. Ajaran Intan Nur Anum haha. Lagi satu sebab ada banyak compartment boleh letak kain pelikat one shelf, tshirt one shelf..takdala bercampur semua. Husband nak carik baju pon senang. Takdala asik "Sayangggggg baju abang lagi manaaaa!!!" Hahh gitu. 

Kalau dah datang gian shopping aku, Adik ipar pon jadik mangsa. HAHA. dengan mengharap aku tanya "Rajin tak jadi personal shopper I harini?' . HAHA. 

Dapatla beli Linnmon, dan Ekby Alva 3 set.maceh bunnnnn.

Kerusi by Kedai perabot Shah Alam Mall. HAHA. Kerusi ni nnak kena try dulu baru beli. Kang kalau kirim2, tak selesa pon tak guna. Mak dahla pendek. Kaki tak berapa nak tinggi haha.

Jadikla Kan? Suka hati dapat beli meja ni sebab boleh letak Quran siap2, letak planner, perfume, handbag. Senang cita all my stuff situ. Ajaibnya Kalif tak kacau. Harapnya kekal selamanya. Senang letak dekat Living Room sebab bebudak nap kat bawah time petang. Eh sukanya tengok meja ni haha. Bes. Ada tempat nak tulis tulis all my notes. 

Betulla, kalau tulis kita lagi boleh fikir apa nak buat, lagi fokus. Kalau tak, sebelum ni semua my notes dalam otak je. Kalau tulis target tu, satu kepuasan bila dapat tick off. Contohnya tadi bila duduk, bukak planner and tulis target for today and tomorrow. Even 10 pm , hari masih ada berbaki 2 jam. Dan dapat sales another RM100. Puas hati Alhamdulillah. 

Bekvam tak jumpa. Bahasa apa aku cakap ni? Hah ni Bahasa IKEA kaki IKEA je yang hafal. HAHA. Dasyat tak dasyat. Apakah telah terjadi pada diri ini. Mak mak sangat dahhhh. 

Nasib baiklah rumah ni kecik je. Kalau penuh bolehla kasi alasan dekat husband nak deco rumah. Sekarang fokus nak cari barang untuk organize bilik stor, new wardrobe for husband and kids, and also one trofast for their toys. 

So apa lagi..cari duit cepat! Cepat beli barang aku jual...

Shopping list 2016

Memandangkan sekarang dah duduk rumah 24 jam,ada je mata ni nampak x kena. Ada je nak ubah. Langsir buruklah, kabinet mainan x cukuplah, nak tambah carpetlah. Dulu selalu kutuk mak mak yang kerja asik nak nukor perabot nukor langsir time raya.Looks like im one of those people now. Yela dah duduk rumah manjang kan,nampakla segala detail. Sebelum ni kerja,duit asik nak perabeh kat jalan jalan je.stress katanyaa. Skang ni stress plak aku tgk langsir tu.

Langsir bilik master bedroom tu tak halang cahaya,matahari dahla hadap bilik. U ken imaginela kalau malam tido xd ekon mcm mana. Mandi 20 kali pon leh kering dalam 2-3 minit.

tak boleh jadi. Esok jugak pergi carik .

So sempena 2016 ni ,selain nak tingkatkan amal ibadat,nak juga hiaskan rumah. Lengkapkan apa yang tak lengkap. Duit boleh carik.Mak jual orang sekarang bahahaha. Siapa nak maid,whatsapp +60107664011. Dijamin berkualiti dan tak lari. Kalau lari kita tangkap dia.

Ok heres comes the wishlist. Husband, boleh offer untuk tambah atau sponsor bila masa.  I know you are reading this.

1. Langsir yang boleh halang cahaya,ada pakai kayu rod,ada eyelet, tutup tingkap semuaaa. Xnak nampak dah tingkat tu. Eh over. Esok jugak pergi nilai 1 . or 3.

2. Cermin besar untuk living room , boh atas sofa. Or tulisan kufi. Masih tak tau lg.

3. Almari kallax untuk simpan toys kalif n sara di living room. Tak suka letak atas meja kopi. I like things put away. Termasuk tuala tuala. Husband we need to do something about that. It drives me crazy .the towels i mean

4. Rak yang mcm rilla beli dkt ikea untuk toilet. Simpan segala sabun etc.

5. Karpet bilik master. Tak suka solat atas tiles keras. Pakai sejadah tebal pon x puas. Nak merasa kaki di karpet bulu. Tak tau idea yang baik atau tidak,sebab kalif rajin membasuh lantai dari toilet. Bab air leave it to my son. Juara segala main air.

6. Bantal baru. Sejak kahwin belum bertukar bantal lagi. Dah lunyai dah. Bantal 4 bijik. Check.

Tak banyak pon listnya. For now haha.tapi demi nak menyedapkan mata dan selesa di rumah,elokla diperindahkan. Thank you husband kerana dah beri rumah selesa untuk kami anak beranak tapi biasala,perempuan dan shopping dan deco deco susah dipisahkan.lagi lagi suri rumah 30 tahun ni. Bahahaha.

Nak rumah macam Aty! Tapi aty pandai deco. Aku tak gheti sgt tambah malas nak buat. Ntah napa bila nak beli je rasa mcm mm xyahla next time. Tup tup dah 2 tahun.

Tapi bilik stor penuh jugak.

Haih perempuan.

30

I cant say how being 30 feels like Cause I still feel like Im 25. Probably because for me at 30, I expect people to be wise and have it all and stable and have all the right answers.Im farrrr from that.Which is why I call people Abang and Akak (when they're the ones who should be calling me Akak haha) especially adik posmen,adik technician aircond..etc..theyd look at me with a weird face as If im speaking french.

Todays year was pleasant. Had an early celebration with ana on new years, steamboat potluck with my family.Then husband brought back my pressie on the eve of 12th Jan. Thank you for the perfume love. 3rd bottle from him.. and we had  lunch on the day itself at Fuel Shack Ioi city mall.If its one thing we share,its our love of food.Im not picky when it comes to birthdays honestly. Not expecting candle light dinners or big bangs. Dont really care as long as its remembered, and a bit special compared to other days :) . Wait,now I feel like Im 30 haha.

Went home and Kids Slept from 2-5pm. Thank you sweethearts for that longg nap haha.

Anyway..so I tried a bit of zumba..and dirty dancing..(aint dirty at all trust me)..a bit of floor exercise and it keeps my energy up. But im not convinced Itll help me with my muffin top..until I did Gillian's 6 pack in 6 weeks workout.My God it felt good.Hell,but good. One of the workout was really hard and hurt in places i didnt expect . so i didnt do that one.Told husband what im trying at the moment and he gave me a measly "Semoga Berjaya". Pft. You might as well say " I love you even if ure fat" ok. Not encouraging enough.I need this to work! No more muffin top plz! Ordered one zumba outfit ,supposed to be getting it on the 18th.Cant wait!! 

Now that I dont work,I can do my workouts at night and not worry about waking up at 6 to go to work. Alhamdulillah for the time.

So any workouts that I should try? 

2016.Bismillah

It's 2016!!! Boy my 2015 was full of suprises.You cant imagine how happy,stressfull,and spontaneous i was last year.

Lets see. Kalif dapat Adik. Aysara is such a sweetheart.She can now stand up while clutching on stuff. refuses to eat.Thank God I dont work. And fights and hugs with Abang Kayif. Best friends forever. Tiap malam sebelum tido kiss adik 10 kali. Time bangun jgn tanyala.

Mmm then I resigned.3 months +1 month bonus . Heaven. Until the pay stopped but Alhamdulillah,hidup tak pernah susah lagi.Thank you Allah.Kuncinya Dhuha,solat awal waktu,sedekah. You know how its done.Lebih senang menjemput rezeki dari mencari rezeki.This I couldnt agree more.Ada orang kata,jangan dhuha kerana nak rezeki semata.Tapi for me,bila kita dhuha ,timbul tawakkal ,berserah sepenuhnya pada Allah sambil usaha.Pernah sekali susah hati sangat sebab kesempitan kejap, tapi esoknya Tuhan balas dengan rezeki RMxxxx  . Allahuakabar.

Hidup banyak berubah .Bukan aja for our family, but well.. Orang lain berubah pun,kita pun terkena juga. Tak pernah sangka jadi mcm ni tapi all is best,Allah sentiasa tahu yang terbaik untuk umatNya. REDHA.ambil pengajaran.Ambil iktibar. Yang penting jangan ulang kesilapan orang lain. Dah nampak contoh tak baik depan mata,jangan ikut.Paling penting,utamakan anak.

Haih anak. Jadi ibu beranak dua ni cabarannya susah dijangka.Kadang kadang hari elok, mood baik,rasa happy sgt duduk rumah.Kadang kadang bila tengok orang lain keluar, minum dgn kawan, suka hati nak tgk wayang dgn suami,mulalah hati rasa tak senang duduk. Rasa mcm nak ajar anak minum botol susu,tapi kalau ajar pun,siapa yang nak jaga dia time siang? Maybe,when Abang dah pergi sekolah  . Plannya next year. Adik dah nak masuk setahun.

Temper pon naik turun.dah ada dua hangbag, tak pernah x marah . aduhai susahnya nak kawal emosi.lagi lagi bila abang suka usik adik,mak tengah masak,adik melalak. 30332 kali sehari.stressnya jangan cakap. Lagi lagi adik dah pandai nak diri. Dah pegang2 nak panjat.caught her panjat tangga today.or at least she tried. Kaki tak cukup tinggi lagi nak naik dik. Haha. Takpa effort tu penting

The other day, tgh mandikan abang,adik tiba2 crawl pergi dapur dan main lesung batu! Dia boleh angkat.bertuah. kuatnyala anak dara.geli hati. Aysara aysara.

Cerita anak takkan habis.I should write here more.Tapi entahlah. Rasa mcm dah tua ni,tak payah cerita sgt.Lagi lagi ada jugak mata memerhati . but i used to throw caution at the wind when it comes to that.persetankan. bukan orang kasi kita makan. Yang penting kenangan tersimpan. Bila baca balik,ah,rindunya masa tu

Tapi cptlah besar anak.Mak akan merindui waktu kecilmu,tapi mak harus juga keluar beronggeng.hehehe.

2016, nak terus konsisten dalam ibadah,dalam mengaji. Taknak banyak wishlah . nak fokus ibadat aja,insyaAllah bila akhirat terjaga,dunia mengejar.

Harap harap bolehlah. Lagi satu nak jaga mulut .

Hehe

Alhamdulillah masih diberi kesempatan jumpa tahun baru.

Esok January 11,kenangan yang takkan ku lupa.suka,bukan sedih ok. Tiada istilah sedih untuk dikenang. Mesti semua tak ingat apa.

Yang penting bday Siti Nurhaliza sehari sebelum bday Mak.

Hehe.Bye bye 29.Hello 30.

Motherhood...

Is not easy.

Is exhausting

Is frustrating

Is not something you should do 'unplanned'. This is the exhaustion talking

Is making me a health freak due to need to produce healthy milk for baby. OK thats a lie.

Is making me thinner by the day! Yay! I should have 10. snorts*

Is making me miss my husband more each day. I even miss his farts and the jokes after his farts. The things we miss.

Is making me less fussy about food. As long as it gets me going. Bland? Dont care.No chilli? Dont care. NO durian for you? DOnt care. As long as there's enough milk and Baby doesnt get colic.

I can come up with lots more but Im hungry and the leftover Nasi Goreng is waiting for me on the table, and my husband is on his way home which means whatever energy I have left after those two beautiful sweet fruit of my groin suck me dry has to be sustained for some adult conversation.

Hahaha dont get me wrong guys. Motherhood is awesome. If you plan on having number 2 dont feel down after reading my rants. You will love those babies like air and water and sleep. Oh I miss sleep. A mother needs more sleep. I need more sleep.

That Nasi goreng is waiting for me. And I need to rest in case one of em cries and makes me miss my supper and i wont have time to drink enough water for more milk ...And less milk means a very unsatisfied baby and a frustrated me which results to me yelling to my other baby and husband .

Remember guys, motherhood is awesome!

How many kids do you want to have?

Before getting pregnant with Aysara, Id get anxious everytime my period was even a day late. Heck i was even anxious when I wasnt late! Id buy loads of utp and use them every single day until i got my period. Crazy women alert! Sometimes I even used two cause I swear i saw a faint line. 

One advice guys : dont do this. Do not torture yourself waiting for a pregnancy cause misscarriages are more common than u know.Sometimes there IS one lucky sperm but before it can progress any further, your body eliminates it with your period. Thats y sometimes u swear ure pregnant .the signs are all there.you get a faint line. But you get ur period.

It happened to me once,when Kalif was 5 months. I had a faint positive that morning. Aizad was away in terengganu. I was feeling super emotional. I had diarrhea all the time. I felt pregnant. I was two days late. I am never late. 

Then i got my period. 

I was bummed but relieved as well. Kalif was only 5 months. My boss laughed at me when i told her i might b pregnant and i was so quiet at work that day lol.

With Aysara I had a faint positive six days prior my due period lol. This time I was 100% sure, cause we were ttc'ing. Aizad wouldnt admit it until My period was due, which was so annoying cause all the tests showed a faint positive. Being me I tested everyday lol.

Then for 9 months Id worry How the heck was I going to handle a baby and a toddler? I cant do this. This is too much! Kalif is just growing up, he's learning to do so muchhh..our routine is perfect, we're so comfortable! My poor baby!

Seriously guys I freaked out for 9 months. I felt so bad. But I reminded myself why we did this in the first place, and it got me calm again. Kalif will get a friend to grow up with.We aint young. And we want more kids.

Then she came.

Aysara was perfect. For 10 days my Mom helped most of the time with her,even sleeping with Aysara so Kalif doesnt wake up. Aysara sleeps all the time she's such a happy good baby. She only cries for milk and a nappy change. 

My mother went home for the weekend,she's coming back but I got a taste of taking care of my two children.

At 6 am Id wake up to feed Aysara,Kalif will too.we'll shower and have breakfast.

Once we're fed I give Aysara her bath ,feed her and put her back to sleep.

In the evenings,I bath Aysara first at 5.she goes back to sleep. Then i give Kalif his shower,his dinner and put him to sleep. By 8,both babies are down.

Aysara wakes up at midnight and at 5 for milk.sometimes earlier. Im getting used to it syukurrrr.

And the best part is everyone says she's a carbon copy of me! Hahahaha.Abah jeles.

Alhamdulillah we are now a family of 4 i cant believe it sometimes.

Me,a mother of two. Who would have known :)

Aysara's Birth Story Part 3

They wheeled me in into the LR across the hall.

 Everyone was moving quietly and fast.

I was wheeled into room 7 i think.Cant remember with the baby pushing down mommy's vajajay. There were 2 midwives and 1 Dr. All female. One midwife,Nurse Maznah (I asked her name later) helped me take my clothes off and put on the scrub.

Nurse Aziah took my blood on my left hand. I dont know why..

Dr Atikah tried to insert a catheter to take my pee out. It stings when she did that.Im not sure why they have to take my pee out.

Then the Nurse called Aizad in.

"Suami Nurunnawal!"

They opened my legs. This is it people! Show's about to start!

Aizad rushed in and sat next to me.He looked..Excited!!! My husband was actually excited in the labor room well I'll be damn.

He took my hand."Abang ada sayang"

"Tak boleh naikkan sikit ke kepala katil?"

"Haah nurse boleh naikkan tak?" Aizad asked.

"Sikit je bolehla taklh bebanyak." Aizad put his arm behind my head to help me push. They were ready.

"Ok bila sakit datang,push!"

3..2...1....and I gave a huge push..! I pushed as hard as I could, and breathed. 

"Haahhh kepala baby dah nampakkk! Bagus Puan pandai teran."

Aizad pun jenguk. "Haah sayang kepala dah nampak.Come on you can do it sayang"

Puan jangan tarik nafas lelama.Curi nafas je.Dah sakit baru push.ok? "

I waited for another contraction to come..and..push!!! And I took another breath. Rest. 

Breatheeeeee.

"Sakit dah hilang" i said.

"ok push bila sakit je"

Somehow it felt harder this time.I took a long breath and looked at Aizad.

"Sikit je lagi sayang.Push kuat kuat.Abang ada,you can do it."

"I dont have anything to hold onto.rendah sangat kepala tak dapat pegang kaki"

"Puan pegang kepala lutut Puan pon takpa. Pegang,bukak besar besar. Hahhh macam tu!"

I took another long breath. I need to get Aysara out while I still have the energy.

Anddd...I pushed again ...this time,no stopping for long breaths. Cuma curik nafas. Push. Curik nafas. pushhhhh!

"Hahhh macam tu Puan! Teran! Macam nak berak!Teran kuat kuat jangan stop! " yelled Nurse Aziah.

I think they wiped my poo. Haha.

"ok skit je lagi lepaskan hidung dia."

"hahhhh kepala dah keluar..Teran Puan!Pandaiiiii pushhh.hah macam tu..Pandaiiii..."

I pushed again. I felt the ring of fire.

They say if you feel it,breathe,and dont push.if you push you'll tear. 

But the nurses kept telling me to push.

MasyaAllah It felt so painful,a burning sensation.As if my vagina was being pulled from up 
and bottom at the same time. It didnt felt so painful last time..probably cause I had an 
episiotomi.

"Come on sayang,sikit lagi sayang you can do it!

I took a last push,and .....Aysara slipped out of me.

"Allahuakbar..Aysara..Allah..."

Nak menitik bila fikirkan balik detik lepas Aysara keluar..

Everyone was smiling. 

"Pukul berapa?" i heard someone ask . "10.54!"

Nurse Maznah sucked out the fluids in Aysara's throat. Then...

She cried...

The most beautiful cry ever...

"Anak apa puan? " the nurse asked before handing me Aysara..

"Girl" i said softly.

I took off my scub,and we had a long skin to skin contact.She cooed. And was quiet in my arms..Aysaraa.... i called her..

Aizad kissed me ..(nak baca sangat kan hah baca baca! ) we smiled and looked at our 

beautiful daughter.

I cant believe she's finally here..my own sweet beautiful daughter..

Aysara's Birth Story part two

I handed my checkup book,and waited next to her. She took my bp. I asked

"kak,deposit bayar terus..?"

"Hah? Eh sabarla,Dr check pun tak lagi"

Malas nak cakap banyak,lagipun tengah sakit.

"Tak sabar nak beranak ya." " Haah,minggu lepas dah datang,false alarm"

"Ok nah.Pergi kencing ya.". She handed me the small container to pee into.

I then stepped into the screening room,changed into a sarong,and laid down.

I heard the Dr in the next bed.Male.chinese.groan.oh well that will do. nurses hooked me up on the ctg. felt like forever. 

I heard the Dr talking to the patient next to me thru the curtains. He did a VE on her and..

"ahhhhh sakit dr! Dr sakit dr! Dr sakittt!" Sobbing loudly. Thr nurses marah. "eeee awak ni jangan tahan! Sabar.tarik nafas.Macam tu memangla sakit. Baby tak keluar mcm tu!"

"ok,5 cm.Pergi LR"

Then he came to check up on me.His name was Dr Ting. He came in and mumbled something while looking at my file. i said Hi at the same time. He looked puzzle,as if waiting for an answer.

"Sorry Dr?"

"kenapa datang?"

Amboi Dr Ting ni straight forward abeh.

"Oh im having regular contractions. 3 mins apart." 

He looked at the nurse. "Yang ni anak no 2.sudah biasa"

Oh here comes another.breathe innnnnn fuhhhhh.breathe innnn fuhhhh.

"Oh tengah sakit ya?

Like uh..yes?cant u see id rather have donuts than lay here in pain?  Trick question ke apa ni. Ada kena tendang jap lg ni . Hurry up check me already.

"Saya check ya". He put on His gloves.

He was gentle.Didnt hurt a bit

"ok dah 4 cm.Nurse,book LR"

WHAT?! Just 4? This much pain and 4cm only? Matila akuuu berapa jam lagi

"Dr , LR penuh. Kena duduk wad dulu". The chick next to me just took up the last LR.

Great. So i layed there still, waiting for the ctg so finish.it was 10. I remember reading in the hypnobirthing articles,focus on an object when contractions come.something moving.There were no swaying trees so I focused on the fan,moving left to right on the wall. Slowly riding the surges.

When they were done,I walked back out,and sat on a wheelchair. We guessed how dilated I was and Aizad said five in the car. I thought I was already 7! Dr Ting came out, updating Aizad. 

"Tak lama dah saya rasa..lagi beberapa jam saja lagi"

I held on to my posession,and the nurse pushed me to the ward. This time i got a bed next to the window,God answered my prayers. I just told Aizad i hope I get one next to the window. 

Contractions were still bearable. A dr came to ask questions. Cant this waitttt? She finished quickly. I went to take my wuduk. Belum solat ishak and maghrib. So i performed my prayers sitting down. I laid down. 

Aizad also went to pray. When he came back I was already writhing in pain. It was so bad compared to my first labor,back then i was high on entonox. This time around no gas,no painkiller,no epidural. Aizad sat next to me and I was already sobbing. I held his hand tight. 

Every spare moment between the C's felt so relieving. Aizad took my phone. "Abang simpan ya." And put it in the drawer.I told him to put it in his pocket instead.

"Salawat ya sayang" he himself recited the salawat. Mulut tak henti baca doa Nabi Yunus.

Seeing him made me even more emotional. Sobbing, every contraction felt like my body was being pulled at different directions. It was just unbearable. You cant even describe the pain.

I tossed to the right.I asked Aizad to get some water and read the ayat selusuh. Memang 

tak sempat nak buat.Alhamdulillah he finished reading and came up to let me sip some. I was having one big C and couldnt even think. "wait" i said. I took a sip.two.three.four.

Suddenly I had a sudden urge to take a dump.rasa nak berak. Like really bad.

"abanggg panggil nurse dah tak tahannnnnn"

He quickly ran to the nurse and called em. 

Aizad mumbled something.The dr came and seluk.

"dah 9! Dah boleh dah ni!Tolak pergi lr sekarang!"

Aysara's Birth Story Part One

After being warded for a day ,for being too honest with the Dr (read previous post please people) , I made sure I ate everything I wanted and spent as much time with Kalif as I can. Durian.check.Air tebu.Check.

I had KFC.Went to breakfast with Kalif.Had Kfc again.I love you kfc. Your garlic and butter chicken is just my kind of chicken.Mmmmm..the garlic..the smell...

  My baby's all big

I had my favorite nasi lemak.Ate.slept.Ate. and I had such a good time with Kalif.Having breakfast with him..water play..cuddling and tickling all day long..sigh*. Where did the time go? Yesterday he was still my baby ,today we're giving him a baby sister.im so sorry Kalif,but you'll thank me later.Sisters are awesome.

Ok back to the main topic here.

So ever since I was discharged on Monday, I had irregular contractions.and they come and go,getting more painful each day.On Friday,it started to become a bit more painful.It could be any day now,i just knew it.

Saturday,I was still okay. We brought Kalif to dinner after spending all day at home after breakfast,just the three of us.it was nice. Played infront of the house after,talking to "nenek",our neighbour.

We were supposed to go to Baby Seri's akikah but Abah and Kalif slept till 4 . After dinner we played with bubbles at Dataran Nilai.Kalif would run after peoples bubbles,so I got our own bubble maker thingy and he wanted to make em himself.omg why are you growing up so fast...? My baby is an Abang now. tear*

It was maghrib,so we stopped.of course he cried. After a bath he fell asleep. 

The next day, I woke up to contractions.Painful regular ones every five minutes. I dozed in and out of sleep, riding the surges .It sort of subsided a bit after buying breakfast,but after 2, i was laying on the couch, just breathing and riding them.

I was still ok. I could walk.Aizad suggested we go to tesco for groceries and some last minute shopping. He saw that I was in pain.

"Kenapa sayang?" He asked.

"Contractions"

"Kalau mcm tu kita lepak umah Jla"
"Eh xpela.Lagi banyak jalan lagi cepat bukak"

So we left for Tesco. During the whole time we were there I kept breathing "hooo haaaa" . Everyone was looking. This crazy lady better not give birth here! Even Kalif was breathing like me hahahaha. 

We had dinner.I had my last meal. (Mcm nak mati je gayanya haha) . Ayam penyetlah what el....."woawwwwww now thats what i call a contraction!". It became more and more painful. I stopped eating,dazed,just ignoring what Aizad was saying. Like hello baby my uterus is contracting shhhh...

"Abang, jomla g spital. Tak tahan"

So we finished eating.Aizad took Kalif,and I walked to Big Apple hahahahahaha. What? I wont be eating donuts for a while ok.im going to miss them oreos donut. So i just bought 2 cause i only had 5 ringgit in my purse and if i ask more from Aizad he'll tell Me to hurry or I might give birth in Tesco. That wouldnt be so bad,maybe ill get free vouchers until forever or something. 

So i walked back to our car,donuts and all. Sat inside the car and slowly opened the box of donuts.

"Aik mengidam ke." Aizad asked. i was too much in pain and didnt bother asking,too busy being in love with Little miss oreo.I offered him a bite but being him he refused,knowing I wont be having em for a while. i shoved it in his face anyway and being the oreo lover he is, he opened up.hahaha.

We picked up Kalif's bag (phew thank God i packed it that same day) ,my chargers,Kalifs milk and left for my inlaws. After kissing Kalif and giving him a big hug,we left for PPUKM. 

By that time,every surge hurt so much I was squeezing Aizad so hard. He laughed. "Habislah lunyai abang jap lagi awak picit. Ni baru sikit"

Thank god for the resting time. It was 7.30 pm. "Sabar ya,we'll be there in an hour.salawatt". 

Aizad stopped for gas in Serdang. I quickly put some makeup on hahahaha. I aint going to labor with a bare face. Didnt put too much on though.My husband would give me that crazy look if he caught me wearing makeup then hahaha.

I even took a selfie lol . 

Traffic was slow. It was Sunday night. By .30,Aizad stopped infront of PAC (bilik saringan) and I walked in..

" Kakk..dah sakit nak beranak.."